The Hello!Blog poll, 2009, results explained.

I figured I'd do the polite thing and complete Tom's little challenge to select my top ten members of H!P. He's gotten a lot of responses so far and you have until April 10 to get your say, if you haven't already.

I started doing this, not really sure of what I was doing and just stared at all my options until I came up with a lineup that I'm very proud of, so I thought I'd explain why I put them in this order. This actually turned out to be pretty fun, I may become an idol-ranker in the future despite my pride.


First, honorable mention goes to Kayo Aiko. It's a cop-out, admittedly, but if it weren't for her, I wouldn't know who any of these girls are. Insofar as this site is all about her, it stands to reason that she is my 'real' first choice and nothing I've seen in the past three years has even threatened her reign at the top of my list. Not to say that I don't enjoy anything as much, just... Aiko, is all. For what it's worth, she would have done a great job with H!P and this is one of the few Tsunku moves I disagree with.


1. Kusumi Koharu, undeniably. I love girls who are very pretty and who act crazy most of the time, go figure. Aside from juicing up the 'Cover You' record with songs like 'Six seven oh oh!' and 'Pin Pon ...IKOU KA!?!?!?', she's got a presence on every song she's ever done, be it solo, or when she teams up with Sayu or Hagitty or MilkyWay, etc. Having first noticed her in the vid for 'Egao YES Nude' I've been paying attention for a while, and *some*body looks damn good in the 'Naichau Kamo' (Nacho Spider) vid. Songs like 'Happy Sunday' really keep me going, and there's plenty of good stuff on her latest record; did I mention she makes dog noises? Oh, so cute... Seriously, this woman is saving my life right now; when things are going wrong I hear her screaming like a crazy person and I just get the giggles. Thanks, Koha; you win this one easily.


2. Tsugunaga Momoko, or just plain Momoko, because this chick is just unique, there's nobody else like her. She's quickly gone from being the most annoying Berry (in my past opinions) to being the best. Perseverance pays, and she's always there, constantly reminding you that she's not going away, and you're just going to have to deal with it. I now have a pretty good knowledge of the group, but from that first day I could tell Momoko's voice from the rest. Perky, powerful Momoko, redefining the exceptional idol, gets hit by a bus and just keeps going. Wins a motorcycle race on a tricycle. Sorry, y'all, take a backseat. I shouldn't even *have* to explain this.


3. Hagiwara Mai, mostly to illustrate the order of my three favorite groups. Still, she's on a Koha record, which is as close as one gets to being a god in my book. Gets to rock the song 'Disco Queen' with Tom's favorite, Nakki. Appears on Morning Musume's 7.5 Fuyu Mini record with lines such as (and I'm loosely translating) 'Shut up or I'll kill you, Mikitty...' To which, Miki retorts, 'Stuff a sock in it, Hagitty...' She wears those 'flying ace' sunglasses in the 'Massara Blue Jeans' vid, and the list goes on. I might not say she's the best in °C-ute but she's my favorite to see, hopefully plenty more good things to come with her.


4. Michishige Sayumi, the other half of Rainbow Pink, or whatever the hell they call that duo that sings about pink Christmases and pink rainbows. After my first listen to 'Rainbow Pink' I couldn't believe what I just heard, it sounded like it was written by aliens. I think now that v-u-den and W are gone, this sickeningly sweet duo needs to get an album, one that turns anyone into a diabetic after listening to it all the way through. Anyway, Sayu's schtick about being the cutest in Momusu (and knowing it) has worn thin with a lot of people, but I've always enjoyed it. She's not wrong, I'll let you know, and aside from being obnoxiously cute, she's obnoxiously DEADLY in a swimsuit, hot damn! Go ahead, do a Google image search for some pics, and in three days, when you're done staring at that, this will still be here. Yes, she works out.


5. Tokunaga Chinami, are you seeing a pattern in my group selection, here? Being pulled from obscurity and winning the second Berryz slot takes some serious doing, and Chinami's been working it like crazy lately, flashing those hi-beams (her *eyes*, you pervs), and just generally being outgoing, fun to watch, and surprisingly down-to-earth as well. I've been told that we get to see a glimpse of her in a swimsuit towards this summer, so be on the lookout. Also, anyone who screams 'Everybody BANZAI!' gets high ranks from me. She's got Tom's vote, too.


6. Suzuki Airi, who really needs no boost from me to get a good spot in the overall poll, but let's count the ways. Cute, done. Sings 'Tsuugaku Vector', need I say more? Also, an outstanding job done on the Aa! single 'First Kiss' at the age of *9*! She ain't 'front and center' in °C-ute for no good reason, so you should totally be expecting her to keep owning as she gets older. Another choice that I shouldn't have to explain. Also, Buono!, so there. There's no comeback for that.


7. Kamei Eri, again, mostly for the latest swimsuit pics. Wins my ranking overall as a complete person; as an idol, she's got a little work to do, but no worries. To aid the police in the future, I'm publicly admitting here that if I ever see her in person, I'm going to steal her without regard to the law. There's no talking me out of it, I'm afraid, and as her captor, will take her to every clothing store in town and demand that she try everything on and show me how it looks, even tuxedos and old lady shawls, and (heart skips a beat here) pj's. Afterwards, take her to the best restaurant in town so they can say, 'I'm sorry, we can't serve you, your girlfriend is too hot and she'll cause all the steaks to be overcooked.' She'll kill all the lobsters in the tank after the water starts boiling, just standing there waiting for an open table.


8. and 9. Natsuyaki Miyabi and Sugaya Risako (almost a tie). The (not-so-aptly-named) 'gruesome twosome' who front the Berryz get punitive spots all the way down here, past the Momoko's and Chinami's who are actually singing for their supper. Yeah, they're still godawfully gorgeous, they've still got my eyes turned toward them no matter what, and we've got another member of Buono! (no comeback, see?) and as well, Risako just KILLS the speakers on 'Real Love' any day of the week. But my reasoning for putting them down here is this: girls, don't get egotistical and lazy, or else you'll be out of the top ten entirely. Keep kicking ass and maybe next year you'll do better with me. Even though everybody loves you gals, there's really no comfortable amount of breathing room here, ya can't slack off for a second or Chinami will have your head, for breakfast.


10. Ishikawa Rika, as in, currently, out of the rest of the group, the one I like the most. V-u-den, Hangry and Angry, Gatas, 4th gen Momusu, et al. A native of Kanagawa, where the prettiest girls in the world are manufactured (right, Aiko?) See, Rika was once a little girl like the rest of my votes here, then she was the *leader* of v-u-den, as in, people are telling Yui and Erika to get out of the way so they can get a glimpse of Rika, that's saying something. So now, she pretty much owns the world, I think. She came over the other day and told me to get out of my own house so she could have her ten boyfriends over, and I checked the law, I had to let her do it. Bonus point for her having a sense of humor where everything she says is completely *not* funny, but I can't help but laugh uncontrollably when she just stares at whoever she's told the 'joke' to, like, 'isn't that hilarious?!?' It's not, but if she could get any cuter, I'll be stealing her, too.

Not being in the top ten doesn't mean I don't like whoever I've left out; I could only pick so many, you know. Some of them, though, I have no idea who they are... Shugo? You can't *eat* that. Manoeri... who the hell is that? She must've been stuck in someone's chimney and they felt sorry for her and let her do a couple singles. And seriously, I'm not learning the names of all the Gatas, that's going too far. And I hope Yoshi takes top prize, honestly.

So there you have it, I can't wait for next year. Tom, if you're reading this, I can hear your maniacal laughter at me for going on and on and on about who's my favorite and why. Ah, I have done 'that which I vowed I would never do'. Pray for me.

Thanks be to Tom for getting this done and making us feel like we have *some* say in our favorite groups.  You get bonus brag points for converting me from someone who used to laugh at your long-winded 'favorite' posts into someone who also does long-winded 'favorite' posts.

Now, go and vote, dammit!