L.A. Story, Part 3: "A Long Day 1 Goes by Quickly"

Having scored a seventh-row ticket to the concert (my main reason for going to Los Angeles in the first place), my mind was at ease for the time being. Since Tom got separated from us during the registration process, I had a little alone time at the Bonaventure Brewing Company. The bartender there seemed to know an awful lot about movies, had his opinions on them, and apparently was bartending until his big break as an actor. For a moment I had forgotten about the long history of filmmaking in Los Angeles, and once I realized where I was (all over again), it seemed like this gentleman was one of many, many hopeful souls slugging it out in LA, day after day, hoping for a break. Not that he wasn't a nice guy and a damned decent bartender, but keep on dreaming, dude, and maybe someday you'll catch that break. He was also working on a script... lots of Angelenos are doing that as well.

Earlier in the evening, I had been pulled aside by an attractive but older-than-me Australian woman who asked why so many geeks were around. I told her about the Expo and my goal to see the concert, and she gave me a quick run-down of the city's history over the last six years that she had been travelling there ("you couldn't walk around downtown back then, it was so bad"). She mentioned that she was spending her last night in LA and would be moving on, but that she loved LA and wished she could stay. Now, maybe she was trying to tell me something... but either way I missed my chance.

I hung out at the bar for quite a while (that's what I'm good at), and eventually another Australian woman showed up, and I had thought it was the same gal as before. Thinking I might not have actually missed my chance, I asked her if she was the girl who asked me about the Expo just a little while ago. She mistook it for a clever line, even though at that point I was thoroughly confused (*two* Australian women in one night? Impossible!) and was just glad to have some conversation, and well, maybe she'd give me the key to her room. Didn't happen, in any case, but I let the alcohol fool me into thinking I was charming, and I ended up taking last call and going back to the room to sleep.

Morning arrived, and Tom and I headed down to the LACC to check out the opening ceremonies. The ceremony itself was not very eventful, but just beforehand, while the lights were low, out of the stage curtains came nine well-dressed Asian girls. Since the rest of the AX-goers were either dressed-down or in costume, my brain put the puzzle together and it was at this point that I first saw the current incarnation of Morning Musume in the flesh. As they sat down in the front row I stayed on my feet and stared a hole right through them. Tom and I were a little off to the side, but we were mere *feet* away from the group as they just sort of hung out, waiting for the show to start. I remember waving as Takahashi turned her head my way, and if I'm not mistaken she waved back. She could have been waving at anyone in my general direction, it didn't matter. What I saw was that mix of confidence and self-awareness that makes Takahashi who she is. Sort of a "hi, I don't know you, but yep, it's me, back at ya..."

The opening ceremonies, for me, were gruelling. The girls sat in the audience for the majority of it, waiting their turn as the less-otherworldly guests were introduced. There was a segment where the hostess explained that the charity auction proceeds would go to a California childrens' hospital, so they showed a video clip of themselves, many cancer-ridden children told their stories on the video, and it made me feel bad for being healthy. I don't enjoy seeing children suffer, I'm glad that the hospital was doing its work, and if they'd just ask I'd give 'em some money. But as the video went on I was saying to Tom, "The girls are up there crying right now, you know this..." Finally the girls were introduced to a not-very-excited crowd, I don't know whether it was because all the energy had been drained by the time they were introduced, or whether the crowd was really more about the anime people. I cheered anyway, and in a few minutes the ceremony was over. We would catch up with them later.

I said hi to Moze for a brief minute, and he informed me that the AX Idol audition signup was happening about, oh, ten minutes ago. So we parted ways and I went straight to the audition hall to get signed in.

If there was ever a reason for separating my huge story into parts, it was the AX Idol audition. As far as I know, none of the people I hung out with were there for any of it, so amongst our group of friends, this is the story they don't know, until now.

You'd think that people who audition for an "Idol" contest would be able to form a sentence and communicate reasonably well, but I asked a few people, "is the the registration line for 'Idol'?" And unlike most people in California, these people were not social *at all*. It was just a couple of random guys in line, but still, SAY SOMETHING, I asked you a damn question! Oh, okay, let's just keep to ourselves at the friggin' anime convention with 50,000 attendees...

I managed to get in the correct line and got my name checked off, and my number was 57 (of 70-some contestants). I had envisioned that the audition might be private, just go into the room when your time comes, and find out later who won. Nope, like everything else at AX, it was a test of endurance. I got in the room at 10AM and spent the next four hours listening to every last contestant, put in my minute, and in the end it seemed like I didn't get a damn thing out of it. But there were some upsides to this arrangement.

Before the show started, the guy I sat next to pulled out a custom-built RC car and drove it around the stage area, to the host's amusement. "Oh no, it's got a mind of its own" and the like was heard several times over the next 20 minutes. Funny for the first ten, but not-so-funny for the next. Finally the contest began and he put the car away. So as not to spend more than a minute without being somewhat annoying, he pulled his phone out of his shorts pocket every thirty seconds for the next couple of hours. This gave him a chance to both elbow me and wave some armpit air at me at the same time. Many times. Eventually I moved a few seats down when the crowd thinned.

The hosts never once had a a bad word about the contestants, even when they completely deserved it. They never said, 'what the hell was that?' or 'you're terrible', so where's Simon Cowell when you need him? After a few people auditioned, it was clear that I probably wasn't going to make the cut, but that they also couldn't tell me anything *too* bad about my performance.

I waited and waited, until finally my chance came. Someone complimented my Perfume shirt, which was made my a guy from Los Angeles (and you can find other designs by the same artist at www.thatskeen.com). I gave a shout out to Iowa, and people responded well to that, I'm not sure if they were being nice or if there were a couple others in the audience. Then I mentioned that the song was by Aiko and it was used for the Emil Chronicle Online game. Hence, I sang 'Hold on to love' as planned, and the segment I chose was 1:10, the rules called for 1:00 exactly, but they gave a little leeway, and I got cut off just before the end of my last phrase, so I sang it anyway. The reason I probably shouldn't have used that song was that it was too low to show off any of my high-range and put some real power into my voice, but I sang it well. Not my best but certainly a good representation of how I sing that song. There was a TV station covering the event by this point, so I may have made it on TV, but don't have the slightest what channel or time it would have been. Slow news day, I guess.

The judges mentioned that they liked my full baritone voice and that I had represented Iowa very well. I thanked them but knew I was outclassed. In the end, as someone there had said, "they only pick the loud ones". Although I have to give credit to all five finalists who certainly did better than me, there were a few others who I felt hadn't been recognized when they should have been. Like the girl who sang a beautiful aria-like solo completely in Russian (It was perfect. I teared up, it was so good.) Or the guy who was dressed fully in drag, and sounded a bit too much like Gackt. The voice was fantastic, but it was the combination of the outfit and that huge husky voice that had everyone laughing, but in a good "oh my God, this is great" kinda way.

What struck me as I lived the AX Idol event was that, okay, I've been listening to Japanese music for over three years. It sounds normal to me now, but of course hardly any one else around here knows about it or cares. And there I was, in a room with perhaps a couple hundred people, watching people sing mostly in Japanese, and it just felt like "this is normal... we sing in Japanese all the time." It was great. My "strange" habit of singing in Japanese didn't seem quirky or out of place. I felt as if, for once, I was normal.

One girl who auditioned was dressed like the Blue Chick from Shugo Chara (with the sock garters and everything... nosebleed!). And I really wanted to get her picture, along with her friend who was dressed like a member of High-King. But as the ceremony wound down there was no time to talk amongst ourselves without being rude, and when the competition finally ended they ran out of the room. So I didn't get their picture. I knew where they were going, though; it was where all the H!P fans were at that exact moment, the Morning Musume Q & A session.

It had already started by the time I arrived, so I didn't get very good seats, although I got to stand in the back, which wasn't extremely far away, and I had an unobstructed view. I managed to snap a couple of quick pics of the *real* H!P members before I was confronted by a staffer. Like I told him, the sign said "no flash photography or video", and my flash was off. Another sign said, "no photography" so I don't know why the other one made that distinction. But I apologized and told him, I didn't really get a good picture anyway. The response (via body language) was, "I don't care, I'm too busy being a dick". Laugh or something, it's okay... I cooperated and didn't get all indignant, so lighten up.

What I did manage to get is a blur shaped just like each of your favorite members...

Which is a little better than I did at the opening ceremonies, where they were seated in rows...

Well, the Q & A has been covered and translated by many others, so I'll leave you to find that (ahem). And as I watched the Q & A, a few things went through my mind about the group and Jpop in general. I'll get to the others in subsequent posts, but for now I'll just say I realized how much of a casual fan I am. When it comes time for a question like, "Could you do the Atto pose for us?" I admit that I have *no idea* what the hell that is. Why did I not spend every waking hour prior to this event watching Haromoni so I could get *every* in-joke? Oh, that's right, I'm an Aiko fan. Admittedly, you couldn't call someone who flew 2,000 miles to see a group a "casual fan" but a lot of the audience went a lot more ga-ga over them than I did. I just thought it was cool to see them in person.

Anyway, put me on the list of people who says that they were very charming and that a good time was had by all. But towards the end of the session, I realized that: 1.) I didn't want to spend a half-hour getting out of there to wait for an autograph ticket, 2.) I didn't want to spend another god-knows-how-long waiting in queue for an autograph immediately after that, and 3.) between the opening ceremonies and AX Idol, I'd had no time to purchase anything for them to sign. So I left just before the conclusion and eventually found where the signing would be held. And I went to go find the other guys on their way out of the session.

Woo, frustration occurs here. I stood safely beyond the checkpoint and asked a staffer where the fans might exit after getting an autograph. Here's a paraphrase...

"Well, you need a ticket; or you could get in the standby line if they have time left..."

No, *where* will the fans be exiting when they are done?

"Do you have a ticket?"

Um, I don't want an autograph, I want to find my friends when it's over. This is a question about the building... where is the exit from the signing?

"I don't know."

You don't know where the exit is on this end of the building?

"You need a ticket for an autograph."

And on and on until a sane staffer came and told me where I'd find the people after they got autographs. That was hard.

Never did see any fellow H!P fans until later on when they got back to the hotel, where I was taking in a marathon of "Lockdown" on MSNBC, a reality show about prisons, which was info-taining. What I found out was that only a few people had gotten autographs, and they had mostly wasted their time and gotten very confused. I didn't feel so bad about having skipped out earlier. Oh well, it was off to the bar, and we had a time. I'll give the 'family-friendly' version of that story in my next installment. Oh yeah, and the concert will be included in that post as well. So until then...